i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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