Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
