me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
