I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
