I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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