Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i've created a new STD.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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