They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize