i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
