i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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