Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i now understand why vodka
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
