Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
