So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
