and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
