do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
