Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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