i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
