she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's blow job season.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
