Already got asked if we're dating
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
