I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Two words: blizzard sex
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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