My brain says no but my pants say off.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
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I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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