you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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