she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
