its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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