And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
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Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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