Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
