I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
