My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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