STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
