tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
