i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize