I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
