i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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