dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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