im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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