Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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