yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
