Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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