You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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