I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
