yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
