I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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