She is in my trunk
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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