so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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