I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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