someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
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I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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