i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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