Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
