Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
