I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
