his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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