You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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