All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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