I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
