PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize