Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize