Someone shit on the floor
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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