Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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