it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
