Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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