Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Fuck appropriateness.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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