I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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