Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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