any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
