I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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